I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
