I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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