she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
My day in three words: secret purse cake
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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