okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
