Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
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