I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
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