she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Randomize
