I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
