woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
