before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
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