What did we do last night that was yellow?
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
