if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
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