she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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