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• (414): View more from Wisconsin

  i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.

  (719): View more from Colorado

  she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.

  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  are you serious?

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• (856): View more from New Jersey

  so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.

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• (404): View more from Georgia

  your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona

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• (413): View more from Massachusetts

  apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.

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• (401): View more from Rhode Island

  My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it

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• (765): View more from Indiana

  Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.

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• (574): View more from Indiana

  im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."

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• (716): View more from New York

  It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week

  (210): View more from Texas

  You are the most depressed sports fan I know

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• (918): View more from Oklahoma

  My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.

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• (626): View more from California

  Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.

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• (407): View more from Florida

  Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.

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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again

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• (614): View more from Ohio

  I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year

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