How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
