it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
