I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
