Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize
