why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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