Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
