I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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