I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Randomize
