don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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