Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
