elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
