ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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