my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
