its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
