so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
You took a bar mat shot.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
