I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
