can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
