He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
