It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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