We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
