its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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