drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
