The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Randomize
