Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Randomize
