shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
whose ass print is on the piano?
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
So much rum. So many feels.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Randomize
