Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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