No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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