it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Randomize
