Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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