KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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