Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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