so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
