we have officially lost it.
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
