So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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