I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
