I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
